this animation is just too cute and a great analogy for anxiety
“Social Anxiety doesn’t exist, you’re just shy”
“Just suck it up and go ask an employee, you’re being a baby”
“It’s not that hard to call someone, just do it”
“Stop making up excuses, job interviews aren’t that bad”
“God, why did you freak out like that? it was just a few people”
“Have you tried just getting over it?”
1. Start off small. Force yourself to take one tiny step, and to be around people who appear to be relaxed, confident and at ease with themselves. Limit the amount of time you spend with them at first so it doesn’t feel too threatening or overwhelming.
2. Realise that most people are not judging you. Most people are concerned about themselves, and the kind of impression they are making.
3. Find people who share your interests – perhaps think about joining a team, group or club. That tends to make conversation easier as you start off sharing some common ground.
4. Motivate and push yourself. Tell yourself that “you can do it”, then visualise yourself succeeding and having fun.
5. Understand that social phobia is something we can overcome with practice and a positive attitude. Feeling at ease around others is a learned skill. The more we do it, the easier it becomes, and the more confident we feel.
6. When making conversation, talk about things that other people are interested in. Often it’s easiest to begin with safe topics like music, movies, sports, school, fashion …. Once you know the people better you can talk about topics they mention frequently.
7. If you’re in a large group, just hang back and relax. Notice what others are saying and doing, and what tends to “work” with those particular people. Then, slowly try saying and doing the same kinds of things.
8. Don’t worry if conversation is hard for you, just focus on being someone who is warm and kind.
9. Remember that we all slip up at times, and say things that seem stupid or inappropriate (and that includes EVERYONE – so don’t think it’s just you.)
10. Be patient, forgiving and kind with yourself. Change takes time; it doesn’t happen over night.
This is by far one of the most important things I’ve seen on tumblr because It describes things I was not able to
All or Nothing Thinking
Thinking in extremes with no middle ground. Everything is wonderful or everything is awful. You are a complete success or a complete failure. “Either / or” thinking.
A single bad event becomes a pattern of defeat. A job interview that does not lead to an offer arouses fears if lifelong unemployment. Pain of rejection usually comes from over generalization.
You pick out the negative details in any situation and dwell on them, thus seeing the whole situation as negative.
Ignoring The Positive
You transform neutral or positive experiences into negative ones. Someone compliments you and you think, “They are just saying that to be nice.” The price you pay is not being able to see the good in your life.
You assume that people are reacting to you in a negative way but you don’t check it out. You leave a message on a friend’s answering machine but she doesn’t call you back right away. You assume that she doesn’t want to talk to you.
You predict that things will turn out badly no matter how good things are going. This gives you plenty to worry about.
You blow things way out of proportion. If you have a small setback, it is a total disaster. We maximize the bad.
You shrink the importance of things. When someone compliments you on doing an outstanding job you say, “It was not big deal.” We minimize the good.
You consider your feelings as evidence of the truth- “I feel inadequate so i must be a worthless person.”
You criticize and judge yourself and other people with “shoulds,” “oughts,” “musts,” and “have tos.” This can make you feel guilty and like a total failure. When other people don’t live up to your “shoulds,” you feel frustrated, bitter or self-righteous.
Instead of saying “I made a mistake” you tell yourself “I’m a jerk,” or a “fool,” or a “loser” or “I’m worthless.”
Personalization And Blame
You blame yourself for something that is not entirely you fault, or you blame other people and deny your role in the problem.
Adapted from David Burns, M. D. 1980
I’m really tired.